


Bucky Doesn't See the Problem

by Unforth



Series: Tumblr Ficlets: Marvel Cinematic Universe [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bottom Bucky Barnes, Crack, Implied Double Penetration, M/M, Magic Gone So So Right, Magic Gone Wrong, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 05:12:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10690425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforth/pseuds/Unforth
Summary: Ficlet written to the Tumblr Prompt: "Steve gets split into big and small Steves" - big Steve/little Steve/current-era Bucky?





	Bucky Doesn't See the Problem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [allrealities](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allrealities/gifts).



> A couple days the last few weeks, I've taken prompts for short fics and written and posted them on Tumblr. I wanted to post them on AO3 as well but have been considering how best to do so. A quick survey of my subscribers and followers suggests that people would prefer if I post them all as individual stories and put them in a series together instead of as multiple chapters on the same file or any other of several options, so that's what I'm doing.
> 
> Please note that I generally do not take "out of nowhere" prompts, cause I don't have time, but I will sometimes ask people to send me ideas and I'll write them in the order I receive them. 
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at [unforth-ninawaters](unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com).
> 
> Make sure you read the prompt! 
> 
>  
> 
> [~original post~](http://unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com/post/159828180493/im-a-sucker-for-steve-gets-split-into-big-and)
> 
>  
> 
> Prompt, from allrealities:  
> I'm a sucker for "Steve gets split into big and small Steves" - big Steve/little Steve/current-era Bucky?

The Asgardian - Steve had never even learned her name! - had _meant_  this as a punishment. He was absolutely, positively _sure_  that her intention had been to teach him a lesson with a big ol’ capital L, something about hubris and not forgetting his roots and respecting the suffering of others. He also suspected that she’d meant to _return_ him to his pre-serum appearance, not, well…

But she’d split him in two, instead, somehow divided his pre-serum self from his post-serum self, and yeah, he felt a little woozy, and like some piece of him was missing, but he and…himself…had been talking for the last few hours and there didn’t seem to be any mental damage. Their awareness was shared for the first 90-some-odd years of life and diverged only in the moment when second-Steve 

(“No, _you’re_ second-Steve, I was here _first_ ,” insisted his tiny doppelganger-cum-namesake-cum-clone.)

(“You could try mini-me,” Sam had suggest with that smirk he always got when he was making a reference, and Steve replied with the withering look he always gave when he didn’t know the reference, even though he _did_  know the reference, Bucky thought Austen Powers was the funniest thing he’d ever seen and doped up on re-watchings of it like an addict.)

“So, uh, I think we’ve got a problem,” Steve said in conclusion, spreading his arms helplessly and giving Bucky a sad smile.

“A _big_  problem,” second-Steve added, smirking.

“A _small_  problem,” Steve muttered.

“Uh…what problem?” Bucky asked, furrowing his brow to give each Steve a puzzled look in turn. “Do you two want back together again?”

“Not particularly,” Steve admitted.

“Dude, it’s like I can finally _breathe_  again, or at least I could if it wasn’t for the damn asthma,” second-Steve agreed.

“Then…?” Bucky scratched his chin with his metal arm. “I mean, I guess it’s a little confusing. Which of you is Steve?”

“Really? _That’s_  your biggest concern?” said Steve acidly.

“Never mind.” Second-Steve threw up his hands. “I give up. He’s a moron and he’s all yours.”

“Huh?” Bucky looked even _more_  confused.

“One of you,” Steve explained with what patience he could muster. Usually, that was a hell of a lot of patience, but it had been a trying day. “Two of us.”

“ _That’s_  the problem,” second-Steve agreed.

“Who’s problem?”

“Huh?”

“I mean… _I_  don’t see a problem…” A hopeful glimmer in his eye, Bucky gave Steve a suggestive half-smile.

Steve and second-Steve turned to look at each other.

“Can we…can we _do_  that?” second-Steve asked, flabbergasted.

“Hell, babe, I loved you when you were small, and I loved you when you got ripped, and…” Bucky shrugged, made a gesture at each of them in turn, and shrugged again.

“It’d be…well, I guess it’d be kinda like masturbating,” Steve said thoughtfully.

“Hell no, I _remember_  what the serum did to my dick size,” second-Steve grumbled. “I’m getting the raw end of this bargain.”

“The only end I want raw is mine,” Bucky managed with a straight face.

Laughing along with his double, Steve let the new reality settle comfortably into place.

This was okay.

Bucky was happy.

That was all that really mattered, right?

Steve glanced at second-Steve.

 _Yeah, I guess…I guess I could get used to this_.

Second-Steve glanced at Steve.

With matching grins, they turned slowly to Bucky, and pounced.

A few weeks later, when Thor stormed into Avenger’s tower crowing that he’d found a cure to Steve’s problem, both Steve’s shook their heads in tandem.

What problem?

“The only problem we need a solution to is Bucky’s raw end,” second-Steve replied blithely.

No one ever, ever, _ever_  brought it up again.


End file.
